Wondering

I cant believe this is it.
I cant believe its the end.
I cant believe Ive gone through life
without ever knowing a friend.

I can't believe its almost over.
The years went by so fast.
I cant believe I lived with questions
but with not the strength to ask.

When and where and how and why
is all I want to know.
When did I become deserving of hate?
When did I become unknown?

Where will I be going to next,
To heaven or to hell?
I tried to live what life I had.
I tried to live it well.

How could he deny me of love
but give me pain and hurt galore?
He gave me only a small dose of mercy
when he knew I needed more.

Why am I forced to live this life
Ruled by hate and tyranny?
Why was I condemed at birth?
Why cant someone else be me?