No one looks up

With tears in my eye,
i just want to give up!
and say good-bye.
but, i can't. why?
is a question that pounds in my head.
i feel like a lost little pup.
who can't disappoint the excited kid.
so when people say, "sup?"
i just say nothing.
cause i don't want to see the feeling of people looking up.
up, at my smiling face.
up, to me as a person.
up, to me as a sister.
up, to me as an example.
my heart has a longing.
to be looked up to.
cause without my best friend,
i don't feel like anyone wants me as their hero.
i feel lost & confused.
i feel like some little, stupid zero.
i just wanna give up.
cause no one is looking up.
not any more.
up, to see the pain behind my eyes.
up, to see a fake smile.
up, to see one who needs to have a good cry.
up, to tell me why.
no one looks up.
so, i have to tell myself why.
but, i feel like a lost little pup.
so, lost & confused.
i can't answer why.
but, i can't tell you why not.
i just feel so hurt.
so abused & betrayed.
why?
it didn't use to bug me...
Why?!?!
why now....
someone...
anyone...
please just tell me...
WHY?!?!