Nightmares coming true

"Screaming and shouting echoed from the kitchen,
I tip-toed to the corner of the wall so I could listen,
Daddy was mad after way to many yucky beers,
but he says he hasn't drank for a couple of years."
^^^
[This isn't a bad beginning. It's not strong in certain ways, but in ways that it tells a story, it is. I really hate the "yucky beers" part, though. It makes it seem like you don't have much vocabulary. v.v.]

"Daddy yelled at mommy, and mommy began to cry,
I cocked my head to the side to try to find out why,
he talked about me and my brother and sister,
man if only I could run over and be with her."
^^^
[Again, this stanza is strong in some ways and not in others. It tells a story, and while there is a little bit of emotion, there's not a lot.]
"Last time I tried I just got hit with daddy's belt,
It was hard and it stung, I hate how that leather felt,
he always hits me when I'm being very bad,
like when I kiss him goodnight, it makes him very mad."
^^^
[Saddely, this is common, but it really shouldn't be. Abuse comes in all forms. My father used to be the same way.. Now I fight back.]
"Daddy then pointed his finger at mommy's face,
he called her the B word and said she was a disgrace,
I cried silent tears like I usually do when they fight,
it's hard to get a good night sleep when they do it at night."
^^^
[To me "all night" instead of "at night" would sound better, but that's only ear candy.
As for the paragraph, I know what it's like.]
"He grabbed a full beer bottle and swung it hard across her face,
My eyes became extremely wide, and my heart began to race,
I ran down the street to my Grandma Roses house,
it was dead at night so I was quite like a mouse."
^^^
[I like this stanza best of them all because it shows the most emotion. In poems that tell story it's hard to catch the reader sometimes, and this is where you started to catch me.]

This is a very sad poem. Abuse is something that should never happen, but often does. I'm sorry if this was something your aunt had to go through; no one should.

Though it lacked anyway... way to remember it, it had good flow and you still told the story. It's not perfect, but not all poetry has to be; sometimes, it's just best to get the pain out.

Nicely written.

xTheEcstasyofSuicidex 5.5

This poem is hard to comment, as it seems to be from the point of view of a child, most likely really young. It was written simple with plenty of run on sentences, but it worked in this case and for the point of view.

Very tragic, I hate when I see poems about people being abused, always makes me sad. I would suggest that you work on your vocabulary, used more... advanced use of words. I saw how many poems you have so I know your not a beginner, just some advice.

I like that you said;
"Pretty soon the very nice policemen had arrived"
"daddy got taken away with the nice policemen".

Not many people talk about the law-enforcement in a positive attitude. This was a big plus for me.

What I really loved about the poem was this.

"**This poem is dedicated to My aunt lori, my cousins Rilee josephine and lannon stay strong"

I love it when a poem is dedicated to someone else. Makes the reader feel sympathetic to them, and you for writing the poem.

Very good job, just work on grammar and vocabulary.

_[Deathly'Amore]

That is so sad T_T and if there is anything I can do to help Ill be glad to ^^ 5/5

Wow that was an extremly sad poem:(....you did an amazing job writing it!! it's as though i could see what was going on throughtout the whole poem!! you did a beautiful job...definetly 5/5:)