Breaking Words

I have a hard time understanding why people 'spit poison' as well. I think its due to the fact they have a heightened sensitivity and the walls that gaurd their ego are as thick as can be. These types of people will never understand the effects of what they say and how they say it, as they are trapped in their minds. Good piece

4/5. This was quite well done. I'm a pretty tough grader. I'm sure many others will give this poem a five, though, so I don't feel too bad. Anyway...

Don't be afraid to edit a poem after you write it. A lot of a rough draft is just getting the emotion on paper, and then the editing is refining it so that it gets conveyed to the reader exactly as you felt it, you know? This was almost a five, but I felt like there was some phrasing that interrupted the poetic-ness of it, such as "choose to spit out poison willingly?" To have "choose" and "willingly" in the same line is pretty redundant, so it might be a good idea to cut one or the other out. Also, I do think you could have found a more articulate word than "hits" for the "walls of the heart" line.

Like I said, I'm a hard judge, but I try to help people get better with specific comments, so I hope you can see how to fulfill even more of your artistic potential now. Good work and keep it up!

Wow! That one really hit home for me. I absolutely loved that one. You really draw the reader in and show them exactly how it feels. The effect of your choice of words is outstanding. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Wow.
great work
keep it up!
-Lisa

Great poem! It is so true that words can break people and the people speaking mean words and all don't realize how much it hurts (Or don't care). This poem is reallyawesome. Keep up the good work!!!!!!