The rhyming part is interesting but not neccisarily in the good way (Gr on my spelling!). Two of them weren't perfect rhymes either but according to Wikipedia you can rhyme without it being perfect. According to me it's not a rhyme if it doesn't rhyme. :) Other than odd placement and rhymes being off I thought it was decent. I'm not thrilled about it but I know that you haven't written for a while so you may just be warming up for another brilliant piece. I'll give this one a three.