It's Alway The "Happy" People

It hasn't always been this bad... i haven't always felt like this...

but recently thing have been getting me down, depressing me even more

like at the flick of the switch my emotions are scattered
the fluctuations, the balance out of proportion

i cant seem to stop the tears flowing from my eyes,

to*

why does all this s**t happen to me

as if i don't have enough to deal with with my "friends"

school work

deadlines

GCSE's coming up soon... how could i forget?

but whats the point? with my mind a mess and my emotions everywhere

there is no way i can even try and concentrate on anything

can't anyone see what this is doing to me

can't anyone see the pain I'm feeling?

does anyone truly believe me?

i suppose

a lot of people do lie about this for the attention

but i am not one of those people

i don't see how people could lie about something like this

they dent know how it really f**ks you up

and its usually the people who have a constant smile on their face or are usually "happy" or "hyper" that are they f**ked up ones

the ones that have problems lying so deep within them

its too hard to extract that from them

its a part of them

its who they are now

mentally f**ked,

emotionally scarred

and sometimes with a hint of physical scarring too