The thoughts in my head are so scrambled,
I don't know how to describe how I feel.
The love that was once in my heart seems to have faded,
I'm so sorry that I have let you down.
The tears just won't seem to stop flowing,
The hurt doesn't seem to go away.
How do you choose what you should do
When all you need to do is take care of yourself?
Caring for others more than myself, it is what I've always done,
As a result I've only hurt the ones I love, and me.
How do I stop and make myself right
When I feel like I'm letting everyone else down?
I know what I need to do, but I'm scared
I need to take time by myself, but I don't want to feel so alone.
The feelings and fears that I must deal with seem so frightening,
That I pull myself away from the truth and hide.
How do you go in a direction full of hurt and anger and fear,
Knowing that it'll just continue the tears?
How do you leave behind people and memories you share
To trudge a path you know will lead you through hell?
I've heard that it's always darkest before the dawn,
And I know that will be the case with my past.
But what if I go so far down that I can't see the light
And all hope seems to have faded from my sight?
I'm not happy with the things of my past and what I do with them,
And to fix that I must focus on the ME deep within.
But I feel like no matter what I do
Unhappiness will follow in myself and those that I love.
If I stay I hurt myself by not being honest with how I feel,
And by giving others false hope of feelings not there.
But if I go then I willingly choose the harder path
And hurt those that I leave behind.
Won't someone please give me the answers I long to find?
Tell me how to fix all the wrong I've done to myself and others?
Help me believe that I can conquer my inner demons,
And know that no matter what I'm not alone.
