Jealousy

Boy I am so lost and confused
Why do I always force myself to lose
The things in life I really do need
Hiding behind my own foolish creed

It seems I still lack what it takes
To learn from all my past mistakes
A silent rage burns deep within
A force that is gift wrapped in sin

All other pain I can simply hide
But this just eats me up inside
Why now when I crave help most?
Has my angel left his post?

I already feel I want to cry
Dig a hole, crawl in and die
My mind the great self-saboteur
Draws me to pain like an angler's lure

Can't fight this feeling, though I know its wrong
My heart and will are far from strong
Just can't imagine why I felt that way
A piss poor ending to a horrible day

I wish I didn't feel like this
Why can't life be joy and bliss
Every one step forward is two steps back
An endless hell and thats a fact.

by The Pocket fiend