I like your starting point, but the flow is a bit off for me, Changing a word ot 2 here and there would definetely help. Like in the 2nd part:

A feeble wish
I want to come to

Your first lines just don't flow into these ones, I would change up the last part, i could give some suggestions, but only you know what you like. I hope this helps :)

Oops it was "to come true" oopsy!

I love this poem a lot. So very well written.