Lie.

by Miu   Oct 12, 2007


Beach under beaming soft sun.
tears on my cheeks singing me a song.
A memory, and the full moon,
With them, along, I gently croon.

My soul crubbles, my eyes I hide,
even wind I cannot confide.
This lie, the world, You who I cared for.
Let me wash away this flaw on shore.

Haze gently falls on me, stealing my sane mind.
Blue ocean still glazing, a bit of me with you died.
And I stand up, strolling to the mousy waves.
This ends for me, and for our everlasting days.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ali

    This is so well written, the words are perfect, painting an awesome image...the emotions are clear and easy to relate to, omg its just wow!!!!!
    5/5
    - ali xxxxxxxxx

  • 17 years ago

    by Tammie

    This was such a delicate poem, I can't think of any other way to describe it. I really enjoyed it. The emotion was strong, as was the flow and storyline. The ending was my favourite part, especially the last line, I think it wrapped this piece up nicely. You have a good choice of words here. Well done. :] 5/5

    Tammie

  • 17 years ago

    by Independence Forever

    All i can say is wow. this poem was well written with good ppacing and good format, and yet i still could not get the whole "soul crubbles" part

    your servant:
    atticus

  • 17 years ago

    by Beyond Repair

    Great poem, flowed nicely. Alot of great vocab your English teacher would have been proud. Haha, great job keep up the good work. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Interesting poem. I thought here and there the flow was a little choppy, but you made up for that with the last stanza. I loved that stanza.

    "Beach under beaming soft sun.
    tears on my cheecks singing me a song. ['cheecks' should be 'cheeks'].
    A memory, and the full moon,
    With them, along, I gentley croon." ['gentley] should be [gently].

    =) Good job.

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