Glance over and listen.
Whispering.
Why can no one else hear it ?
The voice, is callously subtle,
And she only talks to me.
Tonight, like any other.
Alone.
Apart from yourself.
Direct me to the scales,
Venom stings my ears,
Tears stream down my face,
I will never please her.
June.
June is a good month.
She stopped shouting in June.
She only spoke softly yet directly.
Remembering when I met her,
It felt like Heaven.
Mirror sequence :
My face of porcelain stone,
Defined with prominent cheekbones,
My eyes were icy sharp blue,
My lips a palest rose tinged with azure,
My shoulders,
Collar bone I could seize from under the skin,
Like ruby red handle bars on my first bike,
I had little fat on my chest,
You can't call me woman,
I never am again required to nurse anyone or anything,
As no one took care of me,
My arms like toned twigs delicately pieced,
To hands so dainty with every digit visible,
My stomach, i didn't have one - joke -
Flat, concaved, sunken like a dip,
In the play park slide,
My pelvis jolting out with immediacy,
My waist, tight and tiny,
My legs never joined, didn't rub,
Like needles from an un stuffed voo doo,
I was Beautiful.
I will be Beautiful.
She can't bring my lover back,
She can't send my father home,
She can't make my friend better,
She can't mend my broken heart
Alone.
Apart from myself.
She can sweetly numb the pain,
She can block out the memories,
She can wipe the board clean,
She can make me beautiful.
She can help me forget.
Nothing tastes better.
Than thin ?
No -
Than nothing.
