All because of you

I wake to the sound of raindrops hitting at my window
i sit upin bed and wipe my head like i've done these nights before
i walk down the hall to the bathroom
splash water on my face
i look in the mirror and i dont even recognize this face
white and delicute to the touch
who would've known that this face was ever touched
i stumble to my bed and lay there on the ground i shut my eyes and put my hands to my pounding skull
my head pounds like the beat of a drum
and im loozing myself again in this horrid dream
the dream i hate the most
i scream out loud and hope to be heard
as my mom comes rushing in and sees me on the floor
kicking my feet i tell her i'll be alright
but the truth is i'll never be alright
she says not again and holds me down
as i kick and scream
and cuss her out i say i don't want this life lord
just take it away
i don't want to exist
not another day
after it's all done the clock blinks 2:28 a.m.
i wonder to myself who the hell am i hurting
my mother cries because she knows how bad i hurt
why else would i cry for him
when we are no longer two
my dreams take me to a place i hate the most to be
they take me to a place were you once loved me
when i let you in and gave you the key to my soul
but now im haunted by the memory of your control
i was overtaken by your words
conseved by your touch
and to think now how could i ever have loved you so much
you gave me hope
you gave me courage
and strengh to live another day
as i'm crying i see your face staring back at me and i wonder why
this is hurting so much
maybe because of what your doing
taring my heart at the seams
this pain i can no longer control
baby i'm hurting
to wake up every morning and put on that happy face
pretending like nothing has ever happened
i wonder why this is hurting so much all these months later
maybe because of what your doing
tearing my heart at the seams
all my hurting
all my pain
is all because of your memory