Aww such a cute poem, I really liked that first line:
With kisses floating on butterflies wings
Very good way to describe!! Keep it up, I gave it a 5/5. I'd love it if you'd read some of my new poems and comment AND rate please! thanks so much!
Rachel
Good imagery to start of your poem. Very good job.
"you hold me so gently, so bittersweet"
This line is very sweet. I liked it a lot.
"you hold me so gently, so bittersweet
I feel as though I may be falling
not to quick I hope, as to catch my grip
you make my heart beat so fast, Im taken away
to a far away land, only you and I can see"
I like how you re-used the last line in the first stanza to start of this second stanza. And in this stanza many people can relate to this. Which makes this poem very good as well.
"to a far away land, only you and I can see
lies a giant rose bush, and you pluck one for me"
Good contrast.
"you make my heart beat so fast, Im taken away
to a far away land, only you and I can see"
I like this part of that same stanza. This stanza is very powerful and creates great imagery, which is such a beautiful thing in poetry.
"all of my day and night
youre like my bedtime story
sinking me away into endless good dreams
call that which, as you may
for I am sure I love you, I know no more "
I like your ending it was sweet and innocent and worth reading. You did a very good job with this poem. Good work you need to keep it up its great. You should check out some of my poetry sometime :D ..