Shouldn't I Be Happy

Shouldn't i be happy
shouldn't i just smile
spend my time certain
instead of in denial

shouldn't i just hold you
and not bother asking why
why this heart wont believe
every single spoken lie

shouldn't i love you
and hold you this way
spend my nights with you
shouldn't i just say

how hard I am trying
to do this once and right
build a wall against myself
so you no longer have to fight

but god i want to know
and i just need to feel
i don't want to spend my time
hoping this was real

and wondering about her
and the other one too
how many you had
before i was for you

never understanding
and listening when they say
hes not the one for you
he'll hurt you someday

but there are your eyes
just trying to find me
frozen in fear, asking
why aren't you happy?