Comments : Darkness Into Light

  • 17 years ago

    by Dying Beautifully

    T'is a good one I enjoyed it alot it's very intruiging actually as in you read it and then re read it and see something you had not seen before it always gives more and more emotion and feel to it I like it alot good job!

  • 17 years ago

    by Anonymous Angel

    Hey,
    A great poem, the flow is nice and I like the words you used, I think its an unusual subject for a poem, well maybe not unusual but its the first one I have read. nevertheless it was great, only one tiny thing,, you should capitalise your i --> I. 5/5
    kisses stephanie

  • 17 years ago

    by hippiehxc

    It's nice to see that you're writing again.
    This is really good.
    Always,
    Miss Charlotte.

  • 17 years ago

    by Ciao Bella

    I liek the destription or this poem and the words you used... really like the whole peom :)

    ashleigh

  • 17 years ago

    by victoria

    I love it.It gives such great emotion.=]

  • 15 years ago

    by xXHunnyGurlXx

    That scenario seems familiar,
    As if I have gone through it.
    If I had, then tis forgotten,
    Do to this girl.

    ^^ This flowed well until the last line.. Was it suppose to be,
    *Due to this girl??

    Saviour by an angel,
    It is so cliche.
    Yet happens so much,
    Is that a coincidence.

    ^^OK i think maybe add a '?' at the end of the last line.
    & 2nd last line maybe add it between 'yet' & 'happens.'
    *Yet it happens so much.

    I was in hell.
    Shrouded in darkness,
    Over the past,
    Because of a love.

    ^^Because of a love?
    I no what this means but maybe minus the 'a'
    I dunno just a thort from the flow.
    But other then that the wording was great.

    While I was in hell,
    I found a friend.
    Who was there, same as I,
    We helped each other out.

    ^^I have nothing to say 4 this line it was perfect also.

    So this is not so cliche.
    No angel saved me.
    We saved each other.
    Guided each other out of hell.

    ^^This line was so nice.. so perfect. I loved it!! (definetly my fav)

    Once in the light,
    Things became clear.
    As the darkness dissipated,
    Her beauty became visible.

    ^^LOVE IT.. haha im getting a little less useful i no but these lines a perect how they are so i have no comment on them.

    Out in the light,
    There are new problems.
    Yet with her there are none,
    Or they are forgotten.

    ^^ Maybe add a comma to the 3rd line..
    *Yet with her, there are none.
    The rest excellent, great flow, great wording.

    Maybe someday soon,
    We will be together.
    Through better
    and for worse.

    ^^LOVE THESE FINISHING LINES!!
    Absolutly perfect, wuold not change a thing, they set the poem at rest just right & with great wording & understanding.

    Well done.
    *Hunny*