I wish I was Forever Yours

by Cassidy   Oct 19, 2007


All i can think about is you,
I've tripped
a couple times
but this time i fell
head first

as i try to grasp your attention
i wish i was forever yours

I've been dreaming
of a day
when you'll hold me tight
and never let go
a day when nothing
will go wrong
and the love for me
you'll always keep.

i never want
to lose you
never want to
see you go

so for now,
didn't tell me no
and just let me go
keep on dreaming
of days when
you'll be all mine.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Teria

    Okay. The flow was pretty good for different stanzas and lines.
    one stanza I think you could work on is this one;

    "I've been dreaming
    of a day
    when you'll hold me tight
    and never let go
    a day when nothing
    will go wrong
    and the love for me
    you'll always keep. "

    I'm going to try to help. You don't have to accept if you don't want, it wouldn't bother me. It's just my opinion (:

    First off, capitalizing all I's is important. Very important. It's like. . . a rule. it just helps the poem look neat. Not all I's as . .. Important. Lol. . . Meaning like. You and I. or I love you.

    Second off that stanza. . .
    could go more like this.

    I'm dreaming of a day
    when you'll hold me tight
    never to let go of me.
    And, nothing will go wrong
    for your love to me
    will always be the same.

    Now, that's my style.
    But, it's a way tos how you how to change it, and maybe improve it.

    Other than that stanza and your I's.
    You did a great job.
    4.5

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