Wow, this is great so far... The rhyming scheme is perfect.

Can't wait to read the rest!

This was an excellent piece, it flowed from the heart, the rhyming structure was impeccable and every stanza made perfect sence.

Well done mate

5/5

Gary

Hey i really loved this peice it was a really good idea to place both oppinions it was a lovely poem :) 5/5

--emz--

Wow. that was truyl amazing, last time i looked on here you had like 40 poems i think, now you got 50.

this was a truly amazing piece, and the way that you both blended the poem was superb, nicely penned piece by you and jay, 5/5