by babblingxbrooke Oct 19, 2007
category :
Sadness, depression /
about depression
She goes into the bathroom; it was one of those days, |
by Ashley
She goes into the bathroom; it was one of those days |
An emotional read. i think the emotion and the fact many people would be able to relate to your words are the best things about this poem. The subject is something some would find "cliche" but i think it is an issue that does need awareness raised about. To improve this peice i suggest you work firstly on the structure of the poem. Secoundly the flow. Maybe trying to use a fixed rhyme scheme may help you with the flow of the peice? You have used some rhyming couplets but not throughout and thats why the flow seems a little sketchy. My eprsonal fave stanza was the last; |
by Jess
Wow this is a deep and sad poem.... i hate that people get so low to even think about cutting them... but keep up the good work 5/5 |
by Kyle
Wow...this is like one of the most emotional and powerful peoms i've read....i feel as you feel, and i know the feeling you felt as you wrote that. your peom was beautiful,. great job brooke. 10/10 |
by xxSuicidalxx
I love this poem! It sounds like me :( Its so true that poeple just look at you and cut you down like your trash....and they dont know how it makes us feel! |