Very strong, very emotional and you've described your pain very well.
I'm sorry that others have made you feel that way about yourself. I'm sure you are not a nusiance. They are not doing right by you. It's not your fault. Young people have to make mistakes. We all make mistakes. That is how we learn. I hope you are not truly giving up on yourself, and that is your pain of the moment - It will all get better. Don't forget - And it's not your fault