The Darkened Room

A darkened room and a faded soul in the back of the farthest cell

with stained and battered sheets so thin the cold here still prevails

with chattering teeth I sit here now curled and frozen idol

my breath I see in faded gray, my name has lost it's title

like the paint less walls in here my memories just fade away

my name I still cant remember, my spirit has gone a stray

save for all the countless hours my time is running thin

I don't know when this started or when it shall ever end

reaching out I find not a thing to save me from the forsaken

my dignity, soul, and will to go on have parasitically been taken

and I can not make sense of this, I'm lost and so confused

I'm beaten down and broken willed, feeling so abused

sitting in this darkened place my emotions feel compression

afflicted inside I bitterly stand in this state of deep depression

and in my eyes one could clearly see the soul of a broken man

my blood flows out my veins so slow breaking into my hands

spilling onto this cold hard floor freezing a faded red

a dripping sound breaks the silence that has familiarized my head

it all just seems so slow and painless and I just don't understand

I try so hard to stop the bleeding but I'm not so sure i can

it flows and flows and flows some more my cell no longer cold

the warmth of red life rising up and death has taken hold

I'm bleeding still but now its in exponential proportions

senseless all this is to me I'm still conscience what a misfortune

the bloods still rising higher and higher now it has almost submersed me

I take in one last long deep breath before Death can finally set free

I'm now floating here in a thick sea of my own red blood

holding my breath so to not breathe in this intangible loss of love

my breath runs thin and so does my will as I think to start to inhale

the red fades to black as my thoughts and my breath finally decide to fail

in goes the liquid and my eyes slam shut but somehow all is well

I open my eyes just to find that I'm still sitting here back in my cell

I cringe at the thought that this experience was fake when it all just felt so real

i grasp at my chest and a tear drop falls as i begin to fall and kneel

"God if your there wont you save me from this, wont you save me from this pain,

I'm lost here God deliver me now i need you to keep me sane."

and as if God where there right beside me, i heard a voice arise

"Son I am here for you now, and know that I've heard your Cries

I am not the one who put you here, you are, and so you shall see

that you must except the things in your life if you want to ever be free"

"Oh God I thank you for your guidance and I will not stray no more

if only God you would do me this favor and please unlock this door"

"Son I cannot do that for you but I will surely give you a start

and know that the strength of a million are residing in your heart"

now this darkened room I dwell is filled with a spark of light

I see the walls aren't standing strong and the door is gone from sight

I walk a path straight to the door and feel the warmth of day

and remember the last time I saw these things and last felt this way

the door then slams closed and the walls now come back steady

"Thank you my God for this sight and now I know I am truly ready

to except all these things that have been bothering me and taking away my life

I will waste away no longer in this hell that has finally reached its height

this cell will no longer hold me, these thoughts will no longer bind me

these feelings will no longer control me and my soul will now be set free!"

a flash of magnificent light bursts from the surroundings and I sit in blindness

momentarily though and then I awake to find myself in bliss

a field of flowers with sun rays visible and birds flying in a dance above the trees

I swear this will be the last of the darkened room, the last that it controls me