Yes if only it were real.
5/5

Once again, it was a great poem with amazing potiential. The flow this time, was great. (: And, let me tell you flows a big thing in poetry, and hard to pull off.

The thing I thought would be better is to explain somewhere what it looked like, then what it made you feel, what you did. And, you did this in a way, but you repeated 'in this place' and usually repetition is amazing, I use it a lot. But, it didn't really go with this poem. BUT, it was a good poem.

** Always remember what other people tell you about your poems, isn't always right. You do what you want with it and change what you want to change. It's your opinion that really matters. If you think they're right, then great. (: But, if not then don't take it to heart. [[I don't want to offend you, and most people on here don't either. . you probably know that, but some don't]].
Just keep your poems real, and how you want them, darling. (:

Amazing job.
4|5