Cracks and Ice Fragments

Far from my best. I'm just trying to keep up with the writing so I can keep on re-polishing my skills. I return comments, so feel free to leave feedback.

Bottomless darkness, perpetual pain
eyes becoming red as my tears drain
Shuddering gasps, labored breathing
body laying prone, with my mind leaving

My life is crumbling before my very eyes
as I realize this a part of me dies
My heart no longer beats, my mind no longer thinks
and the ship of my life hits an iceberg and sinks

Cracks along the hull, cracks along my heart
ice fragments embedded, tearing me apart
shredding apart my heart, and freezing my inside
the only warmth coming from tears that I've cried