_RESURGAM_
looking back on the night i died
i remember as though it was yesterday
it might have been,i dont know
time is no factor where i spend my days
it was a dark night
as dark as the hole i called my heart
the thunder rolled and the lightning struck
the storm set my mood,it did its part
cross my heart
hope to die
stick a needle in my eye
alone in my room
protected by locked doors
comforted by this privacy of my death cell
there i would work,to settle the score
i was out to destroy a masterpiece
to leave one lifeless
i was the aspiring artist
my body the blank canvas
cross my heart
hope to die
stick a needle in my eye
you called to try to save me
but i wasnt listening from the start
i guess you shouldve tried a little harder
but the knives,they were so very sharp
masochists to which i catered
internal demons to whom i answered
there was no way to stop the cycle
the slight headache had turned to the cancer
cross my heart
hope to die
stick a needle in my eye
then i started to work
it got difficult to ignore the pain
each laceration got deeper
every cut closer to the vein
i wondered why i didnt do this sooner
instead of living on so worthlessly
i prayed that God would understand
and that he would have mercy on me
cross my heart
hope to die
stick a needle in my eye
blood was flowing,i opened the flood gate
goosebumps covered my skin
i was slowly losing the last feelings i had
everything was spilling from within
raining blood onto an earth-tone carpet
staining it the darkest shade of red
crimson tide has a new meaning now
soon i will be reduced to a puddle on the bed
cross my heart
hope to die
stick a needle in my eye
you might say i was insane
that i was confused in my mind
but that was quite the opposite
i knew what i was doing the whole time
with bloody hands and a clear mind
i was going to end what i had started
it was obvious what was next
it was time to leave me empty-hearted
cross my heart
hope to die
stick a needle in my eye
i lifted the knife for the final blow
the one that would end it all
i aimed straight at my black-hole heart
this was the one to bring the downfall
the blade ripped the flesh as it went through me
my pulse growing slower all the way
my heart then exploded with the pressure
i was already starting to decay
cross my heart
hope to die
stick a needle in my eye
i watched as the room faded away
darkness clouded my eyes
my mind slipped through the curtain
everything that was me had died
i was gone,a lost departed soul
a bitter memory of hate pain and sin
all that remained was a picture
with a smile hiding the madness within
cross my heart
hope to die
stick a needle in my eye
so looking back,post obitum*
it was the perfect life to seclude from
in unlikelihood,you mourn for me
dont waste your time,for resurgam**
cross my heart...
lost my heart...
bury my heart...
cross my heart
hope to die
stick a needle in my eye
stab my heart
just to die
pluck out my fuc.king eyes
(*post obitum- latin for "after death")
(**resurgam- latin for "i shall rise again")
