Red stains

My eyes are stinging...
reflecting the burning red
from the sheets
on which i f**king bled
there's too much sh*t
and i cant find solace any were
they all care too much
and others just don't want to know...
a put on depressant
with red stains on her wrists...
that's how you see me...
its an endless list of flaws
like you're reading straight from a book of my self hatred...
i feel caged in and broken down
and mixed into a big bowl of fake smiles
and band aids to hide my wrists
and all this F**KING makeup
makes ME SICK!!
my face is drowning in this mask i put up...
and my bodies suffocated by this security blanket wrapped tight around me...
see it suck...then blow out
SO THIS IS ISN'T WHAT YOU WANTED!!!!????
YOU DIDN'T WANT IT THIS WAY!!!???
endless questions left unanswered
and consequences wrapped in shining red...
I'm stuck in the middle
being ripped in half by my arms...
my mind is on over drove
and nothing wills it to calm
i need to find a knife
so sharp it doesn't hurt
i need to end this life
because it's really not worth it...