The World Today

"People leave and people die
people hate and people cry
people hurt and people fear
screams for no one to hear"

favorite stanza ^^, this really was an amazing poem, everything you siad conveyed the life of everyday people. The rhyming was great and so was the flow. The content this has, the message is so magnifique, its so breathtaking what you have put into words, great job, another well desrved 5/5

Stephanie NAylor

I really like the message of this poem.. it talks about the reality of life.. of how cruel it is.. this can touch people's hearts by the message your trying to tell them... wow this is great! =]

The title of your poem is simple yet you keep it short and don't sugarcoat it nor try and add drama by adding words onto it. I like that and even though it is supposed to be sad, jsut by the title it could mean the state of the world in a negative or positive way.
I don't take age into a factor, sometimes I see how old a writer is before I read or sometimes after I read. But being young, you do have time to write and to grow. Reading your poem outloud, I found that I stumbled over the final line of stanza one. I'm not good with syllable counts but I found that the last line might have come up too short and knocked it off balance...slightly. The second stanza differed from the first in form a bit, but all in all I didn't find that one out of place. For some reason the line about parents not taking care of their child threw it off a bit. I don't know why it just doesn't seem to flow.
I think if you focused your attention on not the world as a whole but one single moment in time, you could learn how to select and deselect details, add description when needed and take out where it is used too much.
But I do feel that at this time, at this place, that your poem unfortunately can be seen as an accurate view of the world and how we have done this. It does show that there is a spark in you that recognizes and knows what people like to hide. Keep writing and growing with each new poem you write.

OMG! beautiful! everything about this poem was flawless the rhyme the flow ! PERFECTION!

Great way at explainin the poem. It is really sad. 5/5

I've always been into poems that are into the night. It's a really beautiful poem. 5/5

<mOnStRiTo'S pRiNcEsS>