I like this poem, but it seems a little over done and cheesy in some areas...for example

"feels like a wake.
Why would you leave me crying,
I hurt inside but I try my best to fake.
Will I see you again, that question is
up to fate."

I dont think to have it rythme with all the words, for as long as u did makes it very intense.... I like the whole feel and emotion of the poem, but I think it could have been structured and written a bit better.. if you dont really understand just pm me, im glad to help and thanks for ur comment! =D
but you do have some talent there and oh, AUSSIES RULE! woot woot! =D