I hold upon this knife
my hands are shaking
more than the rest of my body
and this time
i can't blame the coldness...
Lift the blade toward my wrist
my arm stops midway
as i catch my face
reflecting of the silver sharpness
and suddenly everything in my life
flashes before my eyes
Emotions ran astray
when i was so young
the time when i stopped caring
about everything
about the world
about myself
and didn't care if i lived or died
All the pain i felt back then
is doubled up with the pain i feel now
my hatred toward myself
grows even stronger
then a memory that i feared to remember
eats away at my head
and i see it so clearly
like its all happening again...
Alone,isolated in my room
locked away from the rest of the world
screaming from the floor below
and the barking of the dogs
in my head,on the edge of exploding
i needed to escape
i had to find a way to release
my depression
my sadness
my anger
Searching through my school bag
books,pens,ruler
then i found what i was looking for
my pencil sharpener..
i lay it down against the floor
and jump on it, to break
the result, sharp razor...
so easily able to cut through my skin..
Still the sounds around me
they seem louder than before
i felt a tear,running down my face
thats where it all begun...
Now, back in reality
this time in the present
I'm scared tat i can remember it
so clear,so well
still with a knife in my hand
a feel a tear running down my face...
