I liked the free form of that poem. i get so sick of 4 line stanzas that it seems nearly every1 is writing. they're so boring and uninspired the feelings in it i can relate to even though i have never cut myself. well atleast intentionally. but i can understand how physical pain is alot easier to deal with than emotional. as my greatest fear is often the wounds that leave no scars. i would say maybe the lines
"but all her thoughts turn into blood.
Then the blood becomes real "
would sound better as
but all her thoughts turn crimson
as the wounds become real.
but that is just me. anyway a good poem which i liked.
ps you might like my poem "the chant of death"
it has a simliliar theme and i think you could relate to it