Porcelain Reminders

I wish I could hear the sun
not as a gleaming ball of fire in the sky
but as a song of color.
I wish I could smell the wind as it touches the green grass
like an explosion of worlds
a joyful reunion as they touch, momentarily.
I wish I could breathe light
the pure energy burning out my mind
until I can no longer see anything and the world is black.
Until the broken shards of porcelain dissappear from my room
the bloodstains on them dissappearing as well
the proof of my sins
Only then will I truly see
the rainbows that even the darkness make
the world as it is meant to be
A shattered crystal heart lies on my floor
I pretend to not notice it
hoping that if I crush it enough times, my memories will be crushed as well
and I will no longer be a memory myself,
a memory of the horrible longing to fall
because it is the closest thing to flight.
And like a butterfly, my tainted wings dripping with grime
I fly through the cleansing rain,
and out from my porcelain mask, my eyes can see again.