Now here's my story,
Out on the table,
I can't let memories go,
I would be unfaithful,
So I've adapted,
Twisted and manipulated,
Me and the world around me,
But there are more problems I've created,
I've seen love,
More than once before,
Within my own and others lives,
But i have never seen,
Anyone deal with the pain I've been through,
I've had three family members that i know of,
Die of the unforgiving disease,
And the star sign which, named, gives joy to others,
Cancer eats everything it sees,
I had a friend,
Very close to me indeed,
He committed suicide because of a woman,
That brought him to his knees,
Taking everything he held close to him,
He had nothing in life,
Now his children will grow up,
With no father inside,
The worst part of what happened,
Was that the same night my friend,
Told me he was to end his life,
Moments after i had received news,
The my grand-mother, who i loved dearly,
Had been diagnosed with cancer,
Yet people go on with their daily lives as if nothing has happened,
But that is something i cannot do anymore,
I just want to be able to move on with life,
But i can't do it with the monsters in my head,
I've held the most precious possessions in life,
But all have been taken away from me,
And it's no one else's fault other than mine,
I'm forever thinking why it has happened to me,
But there has still been no answer reveled,
I can't stop my mental self-infliction,
I want just one answer of my life's meaning,
Am I just a pointless waste of space?
My heart is breaking,
There are too many pieces to count,
Will my fate change?,
All there is in my mind is doubt,
Because of my past,
My pain will forever last,
My life is drained,
With my soul tearing in two,
I don't know who, or where you are,
All i know is i must find you,
To put me back together,
To make me stand tall,
But until then,
My back is against the wall,
I would do anything for anyone,
Any of my friends and family,
But one thing I must tell you,
You can't always count on me,
I would jump in front of a bullet,
For anyone i know,
But I want that bullet now,
Right between the eyes,
Give it to me,
You can do it pull the trigger,
Put the slug at me,
Is the something wrong with me?
Am I totally insane,
I'm wishing for a bullet,
To rid me of this pain,
And thus far,
I'm inclined to tell,
I know where my soul is going,
Thats straight to hell,
I don't know what I'm feeling,
But it's starting to grow,
The burning knife,
Deep within my soul,
So if you can end it,
Then, please, rid me of this pain,
I won't matter a lot,
It's just blood down the drain.
