The Sojourner

I loved the repitition of the title throughout your poem. It was effective in delivering your message. I loved the raw emotion you wrote with and the beauty in your words was flawless.

"I'm a sojourner, I wish I could be in beautiful place
Looking for new heart and then see a different face
Maybe it's easy to find a beautiful faces to gaze
But it's hard to find a girl who made me amazed"

^this was my fave stanza, but the last line seems out of place.

Great job. *5/5*

I liked this poem but I also agree with Doug [Dead Soul] About expanding your rhyme. I think you flwo good but if you added some powerful words in there it would create so much more emotion. Still a greatly written piece which deserves a 5/5 in my eyes. Well done. ~Mel

This poem is great.

Its... so well penned.

I loved how your expressed yourself.. telling a story too.

It was sad.. it had meaning..
I liked it.

This piece was quite impressive
I hope soon you find the one

The title to this drew me in, I do believe it fits the poem perfectly. I thought the poem held together well with the exception of the last stanza, it seem forced and only in my opinion I believe it could have been stronger if the ending were reworded so as not to seem so forced.

But it's hard to find a girl who made me amazed

^ This line seems out of place or something missing from it. I believe you may have meant ..."But it's hard to find a girl who MAKES me amazed. However that would still seem forced. I think a little re-arrangement on that last line would do the poem the justice it deserves.
The poem itself was beautiful and I can't wait to read more of your poetry.

This is a really nice poem. You did a great job with this one. 5/5

<mOnStRiTo'S pRiNcEsS>