Sins Of Omission

Wow. I am truly amazed at the genuine lament and romaticism with which you write. At the first stanza, I was unaware of where you were taking the poem but in retrospect I see that in it you set the basis for a poem that is, very literally, every woman's dream.

"Should've shared my lips with you,
At every sole request.
Should've shown my utter awe,
At the beauty you possessed."

I feel that with this stanza your character (dont know if its you) reaches the realisation that life is fleeting. Perhaps I am over analysing here but I get the sensation, when you talk about her beauty that it is going to leave irregardless of whether she walks away. Powerful.

"Should've spoke my heart to you,
So you'd know that I'd be there"

Here I feel the character reaches yet another step of inner growth. I feel that he realises how crucial it is to release your feelings whilst there is still time. Also, how crucial it is to a woman to have that sense of security, of being unconditionally loved.

"Should've stopped you as you left,
Held you like a vice.
Should've done just anything,
Whatever would suffice."

These are, undoubtedly, my favourite words in the whole poem. I mean, "held you like a vice," the words are so captivating, so beautiful. In life, we often chose vices that result in our own demise. To chose love, this person as your vice is a concept so pure and admireable.

The opportunity may have passed your character by but if he has learnt these lessons then one can imagine the intensity of his next love.

Although perhap somewhat circumstancially (as I have just recently joined this website), I can truly say that this is the best non-published poem I have ever read.

Congratulations, not everyone can write this way and I believe experience has done you justice.

Natalie.

p.s. sorry if I said too much. :)

You know, for a lanky,
white, shaven headed, idiot, you ain't 'alf bad with words. I really like your work. 5/5

This poem was so close to home for me... about my last relationship.
I loved the way it flowed through, and kept me reading, when i write i tend to let to many emotions get in, and loss the flow of the poem.
I truely loved this poem, wonderful write, hope to read more like it! 5/5
~Dreamer~

Loved this one Pete, it was a great entry. It was very honest and relateable. I know I have been there. The flow was great except in the last stanza, it was a bit off, change around a few words and it would be flawless. Great job.

First of all may I please request that you pass the tissue.

This poem was/is very heart gripping. Especially to a reader that has treaded those should haves in their life. Sadly, my should have has just been recent which makes this paticuler poem even more touching.

I love how you portrayed the honesty here. You laid it on the line as to what you should have done and took responsibility for your part instead of merely holding anger and blaming the other party.

The last stanza:

"So allay my fears or betray my pride,
I'll heed your made decision.
If our loves to live, you must forgive,
The sins of my omissions. "

held me strong and spoke volume with truth. I can say that I felt mesmerized by the honesty and elogance that you have put forth.

~~Sher