I know its not a poem but you can comment if you like....

Its really interesting ,creative i like it
your mini story got my attention till the end .... nice work

Wow...can "left speechless" be a comment? man, i have absolutely nothing...it was so... well, obviously dark. it was sort of creepy and disturbing...but it just made it so...wonderful. i mean, it's eerie but realistic at the same time. It's just so mystic in some way. yeah, this is your longest poem. great job!! you went beyond and accomplished something so great!!!
:-)

Wow...can "left speechless" be a comment? man, i have absolutely nothing...it was so... well, obviously dark. it was sort of creepy and disturbing...but it just made it so...wonderful. i mean, it's eerie but realistic at the same time. It's just so mystic in some way. yeah, this is your longest poem. great job!! you went beyond and accomplished something so great!!!
:-)

Wonderfully written!:D

Amazing.

This was awesome! it may not have been a poem but it was great! excellent work

Why is this not a poem. a poem dosnt have to rhyme or be in a certain structure. i say this is a damn good poem. it is unusual which makes it interesting its not like alot of generic crap most people write. anyway i loved the message behind it how it is so much easier to dance to other peoples tune than make your own. excelent work

Looking at your other poems i would say this is easily your best one. you should write like this more often. a poem should be formed around your ideas and feelings. not your ideas made to conform to a certain structure or rhyme.