Hi will!

im witn fragile soul im afraid mate, i found it hard to read also (probably cos im a dumb ass). I think it might just be a little overwhelming on the shaksperean side.

On the other hand, for people who like reading this sort of thing they'll love it to bits.

For the grammer and style im giving it a 5/5 but for the readability factor im giving it a 3/5.

So overall in my opinion its a 4/5.

Gary.

I love the sonnet form...this is quite good.
I must say I love the ending couplet:

"Heart and noddle art thine biggest liars,
Thou art devoted to fond desires."

You've impressed me with your effortless use of Old English.....true to the form, perfect for the Shakespeare contest.....

One small suggestion....I feel some of the punctuation marks at the ends of the lines could be eliminated......

Nice read....I really enjoyed it! Take care, Debbie