Rearview Mirror

by Tammie   Nov 6, 2007


Vulnerability watches in vain while reckless decisions ruin precious moments
An apology was never requested, nor accepted, but it was given anyway.
Why bother pretending when false truths are placed on every corner?
Common misconceptions give way to artificial forgiveness, as they say.

Suppose betrayal was somewhat rare, then would it be less excusable?
Immunity to unstable situations makes perfection difficult to comprehend.
Friendship found in the summer was lost in winter's unforgiving days,
Provoked by promises laced with lies; deceit becoming the latest trend.

Memories reflect in rear-view mirrors, blinding eyes of the sympathetic,
Piercing holes in hearts of naive souls, a lesson learnt nonetheless.
Trust seems to be a giveaway in hats knee deep with potential sorrow,
Pick a winner, or a loser, and hope luck doesn't run out in the process.

Fire burns in hearts of gold; melt, shape, reform to a customised fit,
Failure by design continues down the line, originating from bad influence.
Deception makes the world go round, along with money and greed,
Success is given to the one who finds a genuine healthy balance.

[Written for a contest]

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ether

    F-ck that this was written for a contest.
    It was written for me.

    I love you, we used to be so stupid.
    <3

    Ps.
    I love this. You're an amazing writer, you really are.

  • 17 years ago

    by Prophecies In Kodak

    What Britt said.

  • 17 years ago

    by Bret Higgins

    Without much doubt it is well thought out, constructed and delivered.

    Being critical I do feel that in context and allusion the verses are repeating each other, maybe that's not exactly what I mean but they while they work together they don't compliment each other.

    The problem with that is I am not sure how you would go about fixing it without changing the undertone present, and that's something you really don't want to do as the undertone is what carries the reader.

    The one thing I don't like about this poem is that you can take the last line of each stanza and still know exactly what is going.

    That said it is still a good piece and it is clear that you know your way around the art of writing.

    I will say that you could be more subjective and varied with your diction. For example instead of atificial forgiveness you could try saccharin forgiveness and (literally) give it a bitter-sweet context.

    I can see potential in this piece and I'll read more when I get some time.

    Bret

  • 17 years ago

    by The Herald

    Yeah...is pretty clear it was ritten for a contest, not to disaprove, didnt have a central theme. that thuogh, added to the "bouncing" of ideas around, making the reader both think, and read (what a novel idea) so that the pleasure in reading the poem is at least doubled. lol, i liked it btw.

    10.10

  • 17 years ago

    by Anonymous

    "Friendship found in the summer was lost in winter's unforgiving days,
    Provoked by promises laced with lies; deceit becoming the latest trend."

    Wow. that hit me hard, beautiful, emotional, I can tell you put a lot of time into this poem. 5/5, truely poetic. I wouldn't change a thing. The flow is great as well.

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