Comments : Do You Know

  • 17 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    Your flow is a little off, changing and shortening a couple of lines would help emensely. For example:

    Do you know how it feels,
    When the devil steals your soul?
    Do feel like no one cares,
    Like you're no longer whole?

    Do you know how it feels,
    When tears stream down your face?
    No one there to dry your tears,
    As you fall from grace.

    Just some suggestions, I hope they are helpful. Other than that I really like the feeling behind the piece, Good work.

  • 17 years ago

    by Blissful

    Wow this was very deep and i could tell it came straight from you heart. I loved how you asked questions, it was quite effective. Well done *5/5*

  • 17 years ago

    by Sweet lig

    Hmm seems im the one asking that words while im reading it! nice asking question anyway! i love ur style so i can give it 5/5 and i know it was great too.. keep it up1

  • 17 years ago

    by Adelle

    Love the repitition and also the questions to the reader very well written.

  • Been there, done that and I'm sure a lot of other people have as well.As usual, a very touching work and a nearly flawless write.5/5

    <3Amber

  • 17 years ago

    by Lecrissa

    Wow I love this one too...L.S. Moore