Crying myself to sleep at night,
Filled with self pity and angst.
Why can't I do it?
Why can't I find the courage
To drag that blade across my wrist,
To kill that fifth of vodka
and the bottle of pills on the desk.
Looking for the courage,
I just cry harder.
Thinking nobody cares about me,
Nobody would miss me,
Nobody would even notice.
I can't do it.
I'm so scared.
Of what might happen next.
Of maybe hurting someone I care about,
Because maybe,
There's that chance,
That someone cares about me.
But I doubt it.
And I doubt anyone knows
That I cry myself to sleep,
Contemplating suicide,
Searching for courage,
Searching for an end.
