My Pain

I sat each day, thinking about life
And how many times I've gone through strife
I would try my hardest be a strong girl
But I'm way too weak in this huge world

I had nothing to hold on to
No one single thing
I try to contemplate my life
But to many things were happening

I was in so much pain
I was so confused with what was going on
I tried my hardest to make it through
But I'm just not strong

I was getting weak
Every single day
And in my mind I'd think
Alyson just walk away

I never had the courage
Or even any strength
My life was coming to an end
It would soon reach its full length

I cried myself to sleep each night
It's the only thing I could do
Cause in the back of my mind
The memories would just run through and through

I didn't understand
Why I was put through pain
Having the feeling that all was lost
And there was nothing left to gain

I hold on to the past
Cause I can't let it go
The thoughts in my mind
Keep a constant flow

I'm trying to get better
And keep myself strong
But it's hard for me
When I've been weak so long

Life is really nothing to me
Just something I have to live
All it does is bring pain
It has nothing else to give

But I look at my life
Different then others would
If you know what I've been through
Just picture all that; I'm sure you could

I do love living
Just not the life I have
I've had enough families
And I really miss my dad

It's hard to get a grip
When there's nothing to hold on to
And all you feel like doing is giving up
Because it seems like the best thing to do

I sometimes feel like all is lost
And there could be nothing more to gain
And like life doesn't have a meaning
But that's just because of all my pain