My health, goals, wants, needs, beliefs, relationships all seem to weaving a web of confusion. when i try to work on a specific part of my life every other aspect conflicts with the one i am working on. to put it all in the most simple way.....my shit is a mess! lately all i am accomplishing is nothing. being as strong as i am, i find myself sitting alone in my room with my hands covering my face, and just shaking my head. some unknown force in this universe must be testing me on the strength i have. am i able to be weakened by trivial "what nots"? i will keep pushing, and trying no matter what. but i feel so overwhelmed at this moment. so many questions running through my mind. i am trying to have a relationship with a man that i will never satisfy. his expectations of a girlfriend are so high. i don't know how i am supposed to act. this is me, take me for who and what i am or just leave me be. i don't expect for all the pieces of my life to just fall into place easily. right now, they are just falling apart. whatever has been thrown my way i have always stood up and took charge until as was well. now i see myself kind of backing up and becoming a fragile, weary being. knowing that i cannot & must not wait for what i want. i will stand upright stronger than ever, and take the pieces of my life into my own hands AND MAKE IT RIGHT
