Vague on the verge of blank

I really have a sense of clarity for the first time in my life. yes, love for another may be strong, but i can never speak of what i truly want in my life. so, i will treat my love the way that they deserve to be treated. but the mind blogs i hold inside will never be spoken of. when death is following you, one's expectation's in life are changed. refusal to speak of what i want is my only way to be strong. i know what i must achieve in this life, and i will. only for myself. i never ever wanted a legacy. but thing's are so very different now. i will do what i must to get what i want. i hope my love will find another to satisfy their every want and desire. this is something i can not do. knowing just how sick i am is enough reason to let them go. i will not cry when they are gone. i will be pleased that they have found another to replace me. i can only offer another human hope, and forgiveness. but i go to wards the darkness for a reason. it's what i have given my soul to. this is not easy, but i know what should and will be the best for them. strange as all this may seem, my destiny has been decided. and this i shall accept. i am a very complex being. allowing another to find all the bliss they need is a beautiful trait. as hard as this may be. i know i must shut down soon, let them go, and find the one that will give them all that i can't. this is just as hard to explain as it is to do. i am not the one. i have known this for quite some time. they will live through this, and understand the strength that i given to them. true love they shall find. and i will be a memory. i am content knowing that there is another for this person. so, now i must do what i do best...........................go away