Dear mom

Dear Mom

Well it's been 17 years,
I bet i was a hand full or so. :)
Anyways i need to tell you something.
Life got hard for me. and i came to the conclusion where i couldn't do it anymore.
My heart was sad and hurt, and tired and always cold.
Your the hardest to say goodbye to.
Cause well your my mother.
and I'm your daughter. your only daughter.
Please don't cry mommy. please be strong.
I'M not gone. I'm right beside you as you read this. beside all of you.
I want to tell you to please don't sell my animals. and stay close to Matt.
Mom I'm hurting so much right now.
My heart is beating so fast. i don't know if this is going to hurt.
Or how long its going to last. but all i know is I'll be waiting in heaven. when you pass.
Well whats been going through my life i guess now is a good time to tell you.
I'm missing Jessica so much, grandma too.
My life is a scramble. as i sit here reading this too.
I know that I'm hurting all of you. I'm sorry i guess at least one thing never changes.
I'M sorry i made you cry. and I'm sorry i had to die.
but no one listened to me. and even if they did. they said all the wrong things.
I love you mom and I'm very sorry.
But now i feel no more pain. i feel no more hurt. my heart can finally sleep peacefully.
With out having so many scars and bad memories.
It hurts i know. but maybe now people will know how i felt for once. but for 10 years.
Well as much as i would like to keep wrighting to you. i have to go.
I'll try to send u signals that I'm here and I'm okay.
I love you mom and thank you so much for everything you've done for me
I wouldn't trade you for anything. thank you

I Love You Mom <3

I'm Sorry

xxx ooo