Hahaha that made me giggle. It's so random. Flows well and you created this scene in my head. Well done, and if this is true, I guess that's what you get haha. :P

Thats good and very diffrent 5/5

4/5

Great concept, but its as if you didnt follow through thoroughly. Your concept of the bee attempting to cause you pain in defense of his home and at the chance of causing you pain was great, but it was not fully grasped. You seemed like you just tried to skip half the story.

The other thing is your rhyme flow is kind of off every now and then. When you rhyme two lines and one is 4 sylables long and the 2nd is 13 it throws it out of whack and makes it hard to get back into the rhythm of the poem.

Just a couple suggestions. Not bad for 14 years old =p

-Bryce