Comments : Long Road Out Of Eden

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I love this.

    I found this to be both original and unique in cioncept and despite being relatively short, you managed to put in so much emotion and depth which isn't always easy to do.

    Flow was perfect throughout, while imagery was beautifully displayed.

    I found this to be written with such beauty and grace.

  • 17 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Although a little short, I think you've created a fantastic little verse with the title.....great rhyme and flow and interesting content.

    I love the whole Eve/serpent imagery and the ending lines are awesome.....

    "Drink of sweet reason,
    Please come to see,
    The sins of your mother,
    Belong not to thee. "

    ^love the way you've wrapped this up and thrown in a little Old English too....deep and powerful......nice job! Take care, Debbie

    ^

  • 17 years ago

    by Cindy

    I really loved this piece. The imagery and word choices are awesome.

    The serpent is sliding,
    Slithering near,
    To feed on your doubt,
    And feast on your fear.

    This is a great stanza. It has so much truth to it. How many times do we let our doubts and fears take hold and control us.
    Excellent job!
    Take Care Cindy