All I Ever Wanted..

This is not really a poem..it's a letter i know it's long but i hope u like it..thanks

accidentally i opened an email of when we were together and thats when it happened that tear that i swore would never fall out of my eye fell. and thats when i realized without you everything is different. you meant a lot to me and still do. but i never meant anything to you. and thats what hurts me the most. its the fact that you don't care what happens in my life or to me. if i was to die tomorrow. it wouldn't matter everything would be normal. you'd act the same. you'd feel fine like nothing is gone. but without i`m so empty inside. and the more i sit here and think about you the more mad i get. i never thought this would turn out like this. i thought you'd be different the second time around. but you're all the same. you'll never change. there's nothing in this world that i want more. all i ever wanted was for you to love me to take me seriously. but i guess that is too much to ask for. i don't even think you ever liked me. i tried being like you so you would like me. but I'm tired of being someone I'm not. i just wanna get out of this mess my life has become. and it hurts even more when you don't even talk to me. you act like i never meant a single thing to you. and like i never really matter. we had to have something because if we didn't i wouldn't be sitting her crying over nothing. i wouldn't sit here thinking about what we did together and what you said to me. and when you said "i love you" i miss those days so much. but it hurts even more when i know that your saying it to someone else. it hurts when i know your saying all those sweet things to someone else. and it hurts even more when i know Ur looking at the stars with someone else. i don't think my life will ever be the same. i don't think my days will ever be the same. i don't think my heart will ever feel alive again. or even if i have a heart. because its been crushed and shattered and broken but when i was with you it all seemed to go away. but now that i know I'll never be with you again and that i know you'll never say i love you again. the pain is here to stay. but don't ever worry bc if you ever need a shoulder to cry on. someone to run to. I'm always gonna be here. and if you ever feel lonely. or even if you ever miss me. I'll be here waiting for someone to love me. and maybe that person is you. because now the puzzle that was already undone has been thrown off the table and now its time to restart my puzzle again. and be alive again bc i know without you i cant be alive. and i cant be happy. i might smile and laugh but don't worry the tears are dripping down my heart. they'll never end. so don't think you haven't affected my life. bc you have. it'll never be the same. and sometimes i sit and wonder what is wrong with me. why don't you love me like you love her. why am i so different. what does she have that i don't. why cant i be the one you love. so I'm sorry that i cant be all you ever wanted. bc i know you're all i ever wanted. .