A Frozen Paradise

by Crystal Gaze   Nov 9, 2007


"If you could freeze time at exactly one point in your life, when would it be?"
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If I had the power to freeze time it would be when your strong arm is wrapped around my waist, your warmth seeping into my body as my heart is filled with a happiness I've never known before. It would be when you whisper 'I love you' sweetly in my ear, when I cut you off by placing my eager lips on yours...
And it would be exactly this moment..that I would choose to freeze so I could feel completely safe, warm, and loved. This moment would be my eternal paradise for I would here your whispered love forever...

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  • 17 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    It's hard for the reader not to think about the one they love while reading this piece. If only we could freeze time just once forever and stay in the place we love most. amazing title on this poem really catches the reader and drags them in. 5/5 GG23

  • 17 years ago

    by Miranda

    I agree that it might be better if you put it in stanza's.And maybe if you went into each idea a little bit more.I wouldn't say this is your best, but it's probabily still better then anything I could write. :P
    A 4/5 but I won't down vote you.
    Rado

  • 17 years ago

    by ihrtschlepper

    I like how you wrote this poem and the overall idea of this poem... its really nice/sweet.
    good work

  • 17 years ago

    by Ashley

    I agree more stanzas would have made it better but other than that it was perfect. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by SH3S fiNAllY H3R3 l0V3 U N3NA

    This was very beautiful, except it lacked the structure. Maybe if you put this into stanzas, it would look better. Great poem though. 5/5

    <mOnStRiTo'S pRiNcEsS>

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