Firstly, the best thing about this poem is that it's short. There's nothing wrong with a long poem, but this one has been well thought out and edited and I like its presicion.
Your vocabulary, too, is particularly good at making this an enticing read.
Well done, 5/5~
=^^=

Excellent poem 5/5
its dark. impressiveeee
[ too much big words though ]

only, change breathe to breath.

A powerful expressing the feelings....
and a great piece of thoughgts.....
nice imagery and structures,

hmm all i mean.......
im impress and i truly see the nice words and message w/ this poet.. great job5/5

I love your rhyming. I'm always so impressed by the words in the middle who rhyme with the ones at the end. It sounds beautiful.

Your use of imagery here just blew me away. It all flowed beautifully and was overall a joy to read.

" feel innate, so i suffocate."
^beautiful line.

Well done *5/5*

I feel that the title does not completely do justice to the text that accompanies it. The title is good, but not great. The poem is great.

If I hadn't already praised one of the comments on this poem I would have been left with the impression that this piece is exactly as it was originally penned. Although I do know it was altered slightly.

As in all of your other work, you put your extensive vocabulary to brilliant and imaginative use here. Couple that with your use of vibrant and vivid imagery, you are left with this wonderful piece of poetry.

It's a bold and unique rhyme scheme employed here, although not adhered to in every line. Would have increased the readability of an already beautiful poem if you had.

~Summary~
Another wonderfully dark and intense poem, spendidly penned.

~Pete.

Very well written, i love your wording and the flow was great, this poem is un-improveable its perfect already

xxo

I liked this one. The emotion was there. I also liked the word choice. Great job =]

Amber...

Now, this was amazing!! From a glance i thought, too much rhyme, but when i read it i realised the flow was flawless, it was emotional, it was deeply moving, and i just loved it.
Love always, Tara-Kay
x

Another great poem with great rhythm.. And this time with a amazing vocab,,
the flow was very nice too,,,
I think it's better if you do every part with same stanzas.. But it's me,, I don't know if you have another vision.. ^^
Well done,,
You're a good poet..
5/5

I was really touched by this poem. You did a great job with it. 5/5

<mOnStRiTo'S pRiNcEsS>

This poem is INSANE, crazy-wicked.
dont change a thing.
PROPS- MAJOR.
:]
keep up the good work ma.

This is really good the flow is great you get a 5/5

"But a moon eclipsed over many souls"

That is such a beautiful line, I love the way that it sounds. The poem was very good! You didn't really have a set stanza length, but it was amazing. Keep writing. *5/5*

Very very beautiful in that dark sort of way.
i love it one of my favs for sure. great job with this piece.

keep it up

Oo. i liked the rhyming. very good. i can't rhyme like that yet. i liked whispering this to myself. while i did so, i realized the flow wasn't consistant. maybe shorten some, or whatever seems right to you. just remember that there needs to be rhythm/meters in your poems. it gives more structure. don't worry, my poems don't always have a perfect meter.

4/5

Wow I like the rhyming, it gives it a playful edge. Over all I really like it.
Keep up the good work!
5/5

This is my favourite yet.
~ Keep it real ~
Nicole xx