No Title

Why can't things be easier?
There are too many 'maybes' and 'I don't knows'
for us to last.
I thought of you last night
while my keyboard was typing all the letters
that made up the sentences that
I wish I could take back.
The clacking of the unsympathetic keys
kept up with my unsteady heartbeat.
I wish I could fight my way out of this
instead of battling against all the doubtful whispers.
And I thought I should let you know that
your breath on my neck is absent but not forgotten.
It brought me to my senses
but left me lying there,
waiting for something that never came.
An explanation for why you have no idea
if you should have done it in the first place?
Is that why you pulled away?
You don't know how to say no to someone you've
grown so close to?
I ran away from everything that was real,
seeking refuge in structured sentences
and metaphoric phrases.
I wanted you to find me and pull me out.
I would've come just to see you smile
and say that you loved me.
I would have left my similes and sloppy lines behind for you.
I wanted to let go of myself and become everything
that made you happy
because I never wanted to see you cry.
It's funny, because it seems as if,
even with all your chivalry,
you didn't feel the same.
You've left me alone, and now I'm ready to be
caught up in my manipulated reality
where I write of love and sadness, of joy, of pain.
I wish I could write you off as just another boy,
but my pen cannot sin or lie.
It knows that I would give anything to be in your arms again.