You never came (story of my life)

All those stormy nights
The arguments, the fights
The violence, the anguish
Wished that I could vanish

All those nasty words
The slammed doors from downstairs
Cold abuse that i heard
All took me unawares

Shouting matches started
Threatening, hitting, screams
My world had parted
No shining hopeful beam

So when the ritual came
I fled to my room
Never knowing who to blame
Staring into gloom

All alone I hurt and cried
Shaking with cold fear
Suddenly my world had died
Whenever you 3 were near

Sis promised to be there for me
yet gone the next day
Riding with her friends to see
How long she could keep away

i never knew where you were
Left in the turmoil
I became insecure, pushed aside
My remaining childhood to spoil

Dad you were hardly ever here
Never to be you spoke
You never wanted to be near
My lost heart you broke

Mum why did you hit dad
Threaten him to go
You two made me so sad
You didn't want to know

Sis and I would drive all night
Losing our scared minds
Praying with all our might
That dad we could find

Mum you chucked sis out
She hardly ever came back
My only support, I was left without
Took all she could pack

All alone i shook and sobbed
Yet you never care
For all my security you had robbed
I wept and sorely despaired

All alone i would break down
Non of you came
Tears flowed with no sound
Out went my flame

I cried, I despaired, inside I died
Why didn't you come
You made excuses and lied
My world had come undone

I was too young to know
How to slit my wrists
Make the soft blood flow
I swore never to use my fists

Every night I'd sadly plead
To never have been born
Was someone to hug me, too much to need?
I was left so torn

Yet now, after so many years
This pain that i hid
All my lost childish fears
Are about to blow the lid

I have now learned to bleed
Soothe and numb the pain
Now my knife is all i need
to keep a light my flame

The family has almost mended
Yet my wounds can't heal
All this anger and pain have blended
I no longer know what to feel

Why can't I let go of my past
Release my hidden thoughts
My ship is sailing with a broken mast
Battles on board still fought

You are all fine but I'm left with scars
I'm left so insecure
Whilst you all watch from afar
This suffering I endure

Mum, Dad, i was only eight
Why was i left alone
But now its all far too late
From my body my life has flown

Please comment if u can xx