Drop and never Rise

Sometimes i feel like if there's no world
No light to guide me through
No sound to hear myself through.
No pain to feel
No time to lose
No air to breathe
I feel like if there's a great darkness covering my way
of going to the place i need to be
The place of where everything's allright and no wrong
I feel that there's a great power in me that wants to be free.
But somehow its scared to show
the power is strong, great, but it can be deadly, that's if i use it correctly.
I'm afraid of the past that haunts me. It's name is happiness. If i try to be happy i know it will all end sometime. I'm afraid of feeling again.
To get hurt again.
To be left all alone in the end.
Am i just not right?
Or is it just normal?