Kaylee
So glad you decided to post agaiin. As always your poems give one reason to think. Deep and intense write.
Great job!
Love Cindy

First of all the title is awesome.....very fitting for the subject! Such a puzzling piece....very intense I think....I've read it over several times and have a pretty good grasp I think.

"-Twirl the flower to feel the thorn-"

I love this insertion....

Your style is so provocative and the message often hidden....always a pleasure to read and ponder....Take care, Debbie

I actually loved the first two lines

"Painted black: Stripped White
Tangled nest of autumns' shred"

Deep and strangely beautiful yet terribly sad. Loved the style and flow of this poem..
Grats Kay

Kaylee,
I think this is the perfect write. So true the pride of virginity gets lost along the way. People will paint their own picture anyways. The opening lines were amazing. I believe even if you hadn't put the footnote that the majority of people would have understood the poem. Glad to see you posting again.
Awesome Job

First off, the title was truly unique and evoked the desire in me to read more. I loved the beginning stanza, it painted a flawless image and the set the pace for what was to come. I think the repititon of the line, "-Twirl the flower to feel the thorn-" was quote effective in getting your message across. Your vocabulary was mesmerizing and meaningful. The poetic style you used was different, which made it refreshing to read because many use the same styles on this site. All in all it was a beautiful piece. *5/5*

-Twirl the flower to feel the thorn-

I am in love with this line, there are just so many things it is representitive of. Just beautiful, seriously envious that I did not think of it lol

A really meaningful piece, it flowed nicely and spoke loudly. It is nice to read something with great vocabulary and deep thought. Fantastic job!

Hmm. Your right, this is sort of confusing. But it all comes together once you give it thought. I liked the mysterious type of idea to it. The flow was not off at all.

The metaphors used added something extra to the poem and really made the reader think.
My favorite line or the one that really stuck out to me was-
-Twirl the flower to feel the thorn-

I loveddd how you repeated it. Overall, an amazing peice. Great job.
5.5

Amber...

Brilliant! My favorite line is -Twirl the flower to feel the thorn- it fits in perfectly and is not too much to use twice. Your sense of contradicting things to make a point is also brilliant. Not many could pull it off. 5/5 once again.

Okay..I LOVE this.

This is just amazing.

The opening to this is beautifully created, making me immediaetly want to continue further on into the piece, and from there on it just gets better and better.

Your flow is FLAWLESS throughout the piece, and I love the message behind the written words.

"Painted black: Stripped White
Tangled nest of autumns' shred
Of spring faded; of air thinned
Of freckled flesh; of darkened cloth
-Twirl the flower to feel the thorn-"

^^ I LOVE the imagery you portrayed in that stanza, it was beautifully done and created such striking visuals for me.

Filled with so much melancholy and yet still this poem makes for a truly beautiful read.

This poem was beautifuly written, You did an excellent job!

I look forward to reading more of your poems, your a brilliant writter! =]

Wow!
I'm impressed! This poem has truly effective atmosphere, you created endlessly creative rhythm and added some tone of originality in every line which made this poem so refreshing.
Very remarkable work, rhythm is simply intense and it kept my attention. You also did fantastic job with wording, it posses some simplicity but it is still superb.
Last line posses so powerful thought and it is really deep, I love it, amazing ending.
You expressed your emotions on a way that taken my breath away and I fount something truly impressing in the core of this piece.
Thanks for sharing cause I enjoyed in every word.

Just to bring your attention to it the end tid bit lacked question marks. Some questions you had down as statements when they weren't. Anyhow...It was unique. You write such strange poetry. I have not yet found one I haven't enjoyed and that is something. Yesterday I was yelled at because I kept giving this girl twos and threes on poems where she had solid fives. :/ Oh well. I just didn't like her poetry. Anyways. Very powerful poem and great use of metaphors. A five for you along with a rose. --,--;-(/@

Very unique in style and structure. i really thought it was great, it was intricate, laden with such a simple message, really. it's usually quite difficult for people to put any idea into such poetic, fluid words and make them stand out and still have them retain some sort of beauty and eloquence. truly a magnificent write

Wow thsi is really touching.... I really like this poem...

This is really good
you are a really good writer just by looking at this poem
good job
5/5

Wow nice poem=)

Wow nice poem=)

I like it, its like a dislocated thought finally brought into society where we can finally see what your beautiful mind has dished out. The use of words was blended perfect like a strawberry to a blender. how you erected it was masterful, you created an image into my head and a feeling punctured my spine. Good job. More like you did a yet another fantastic job.

I must say you have impressed me deeply with your vivid word choice here.

The topic was a good choice to write about and the meaning even better. I agree with you 100% it is a unique and rare thing which you only have once in your life, so why not cherish it.

The emotion you portrayed over the atmosphere was quite beautiful. Though this was a sad topic the beauty stunned me in more ways then one. I felt my heart beat with each line of your poem. Almost as if it was pausing for dramatic effect.

The flow was smoothe and I liked the rhythm, it was almost chant like. It had a unique beat to it which was calm yet intriguing.

Overall this is a flawless poem. Just from this your word has definitly caught my interest and I look forward to reading more from you over time. Well done. 5/5 from me. ~Mel

This poem was short.. but i can feel alot of feelings behind the words...

though this poem is so short but you put here alot of feelings.. its art ....

great work
you got 5